Thursday, December 17, 2009

At The Cross

I tell you...if you aren't busy enough at Christmas time, start working at a church. They will load your hind end up!! It's been too long since I posted, I know. Forgive me. I'll do better after the New Year. Promises.

Yesterday I drove to Albemarle for my mother. Mom has done great in Charleston, but struggles not being closer to Chad's resting place. She has been asking me for a couple of weeks to get over there and change his flowers out to his Christmas flowers (really just berries and twigs and evergreen because...let's face it...Chad wouldn't be much on any fruity flowers), but I was having a hard time finding daylight hours to get over there and do it. I asked my pastor yesterday if I could leave a little early and take care of it, and he didn't hesitate. Precious man.
So, I hopped in the car and headed home.

Going to Chad's grave isn't as hard as it used to be. I realize he isn't there. To me, it's a place to honor his place and time on earth, nothing more. Besides that, he would be incredibly annoyed to know that we went to his grave and sobbed and blubbered. That just wouldn't suit Chad at all.

Last year, I sang a song in church called "At The Cross." The song moved me, and I'll explain why...here are the lyrics:

Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my ways
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?
You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades...falls from my eyes
You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done


As I prepared for the song, I wept a lot over those words. On the Sunday I was to sing it my music minister at the time, Chad Pollard, called and said, "Marti, I just feel compelled to ask you if you would like to say anything before you sing that song today."

Wow.

I told the congregation that morning that my brother was buried on a hill. And as you walk up the hill towards where Chad is laid...you can't help but pass a huge Cross. I can't walk up that hill to my brother's grave without coming face to face with my Savior and a reminder of His sacrifice and victory over death. I can't walk up that hill without the reminder that He goes before me...wherever life may lead. So every time I walk up that hill, I kneel before that Cross. I thank God that He stands between me and that huge heartache I'm about to walk upon. I thank Him for His victory on that Cross, so that I can go to that grave not with devastation and defeat, but I go to that grave victoriously, with a wounded but grateful heart...

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?

Ya'll...can I be honest? Sometimes I get so frustrated that I can't adequately put into words all He has done. God Almighty Himself has done nothing short than bend over backwards to comfort me, heal me, love on me, remind me, speak truth over me...I could go on and on. I want that so badly for all of you. Just do me a favor and ask Him...just ask Him..."Lord, reveral Yourself to me." In fact, if you're in Albemarle, do me a favor and visit that hill where Chad is laid...kneel at that Cross, and ask Him right there. Then, go put a penny on my brother's grave...tell him that we love him...

And rejoice in a LIFE.

You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?

I'll be back next week with a quick Merry Christmas. Hugs...