Thursday, April 8, 2010

Chicken Little

So...I know it's been more than a week since I wrote. I should have included in my "weekly pledge" that church holidays are an exception...because my hair is usually on fire around Christmas and Easter.

Give a girl a break. ;)

I was in Charleston this weekend with my folks...I cannot believe, considering what went down for us in Charleston on Easter of 2006, that my parents actually live there now. Can I tell you? We had the greatest weekend! Low key, family time, no drama or tears (at least loud tears), Mom went to church on Easter Sunday for the first time since 2006...we're settling in to ourselves again. Praise God! Still can't wait to hang with the Sullivan 5 again, though. That's one day I look so forward to. Me, Dad. Mom, Alex, Chad...and Jesus, too! It's almost too much to stand I get so excited thinking about it!!!

Yes. I'm a dork. A Jesus dork. Live with it.

Do you have stuff...not public stuff...private stuff...that stresses you? Me, too. To make matters worse, I sorta have "Chicken Little tendencies." Do ya'll understand this? You know, I will pronounce the sky is falling...when in reality only one little piece of it fell. God has had to teach me, largely though...you guessed it...Chad's illness, that all He asks me to deal with is my present reality.

I take this to extremes.

I live life in 24 hour increments. I've talked on this before, but it's so huge to me. It has been a learned habit...I was NOT born with this. So...when something unsettling and a little scary showed up on my doorstep this morning, I have learned to look it over, consider it, find some calm, talking with God all the while or none of the previously mentioned steps would have occurred...and then I make the best decision I can on what I HAVE TO make a decision on at that moment, in my present reality. Nothing more. I don't make decisions based on things that have not happened yet...what some of us like to call "preparation," but in my world I get out of hand with that and wind up in a place called "manipulation." Not that preparation is always a bad thing...I just don't know when to stop. Manipulation ensues.

I'm special, and a little remedial. The Lord is patient with me.

So, anyway, God has taught me to step back and assess the reality He has placed me in, and then He and I decide ONLY the next step I MUST take. This is incredibly hard to describe, but it basically keeps me from panicking (which I am a little bit prone to do) and, most importantly, it keeps me from taking matters into my own hands...which, 9 times out of 10, produced the mess I'm in to begin with.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
He inclined to me and heard my cry.
Psalm 40:1

I'll be in Albemarle this weekend sharing my testimony with the folks at Bethany United Methodist Church on Sunday morning. Keep me in your prayers over that.

Is there any way I can pray for you? I wish you would let me know...

Hugs...all the way to Ephraim, friends!

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